Osmo’s Shawarma — or the day I met my culinary nemesis.
If you’ve ever wondered what happens when someone cooks lamb using both a hair dryer and a grudge, wonder no more. The “side of lamb” I received looked like it had lost a fight in a gravel pit and then been punished for it. You can’t chew it, you can’t swallow it — you just sit there questioning your life choices while your jaw files for workers’ comp.
And the flavor (if that word can legally be used here)… imagine nothing. Not even bad nothing. Just existential nothingness on a plate. I seasoned it with my tears and still couldn’t taste anything.
Then came the “Greek salad,” which was clearly made by someone who once saw a photo of one from across the street. It’s the kind of salad that makes you rethink democracy. The dressing was a sugary crime scene. I think I felt my cavities filing police reports as I ate it.
In short: if this was a cooking competition, Osmo’s Shawarma would be escorted out by security halfway through round one. I wouldn’t serve this to my cat, and my cat has eaten socks.
K
Kimberly O
2 contributions
Didn't like
• 6/23/26
• DoorDash order
Very inconsistent order correctness....make sure ypu check what you got! Also received old hard dried up rice mixed in with the newer fresh rice.
